Civilized Savages
by S.T.A.R.S Chick
Summary: He’s tired of pretending. He’s tired of being someone he’s not. He’s tired of faking everything. {SetoxJounouchi Slash}


Disclaimer - I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh

Civilized Savages

He's tired of pretending. He's tired of being someone he's not. He's tired of faking everything.

There's nothing there anymore. He's put himself into such a black hole, that it's sucked all of the emotion from him. He doesn't feel anymore. 

That's why he loves Jounouchi. Jou makes him feel. Jou makes him forget everything. He sits up at nights thinking of Jou. He gathers the sheets in his tight fists, cursing the day he ever met Jou. He's constantly thinking of him and he doesn't know why. Wait. Yes he does. But he can't admit it to himself. It tears him apart. The torment and the anguish tear him apart. He wants Jou so bad… but can't get him. He's unattainable.

Seto laughs bitterly at the thought. Something that's unattainable to the great Seto Kaiba? Impossible. 

He reclines, his head resting in the back on the chair. He prefers not to think about him. When he thinks of Jou his heart races, and his chest becomes tight… not to mention his pants. He hates it when he thinks of Jou. That meant weakness, that was something unnatural. It was a part of him. A sick twisted part of him that wanted to take Jou into his arms and just kiss him. That demented part of him that wanted to spend every night in Jou's arms. That unnatural part of him that told him to look into Jou's every action. 

What he feels is wrong, he tells himself. It's deviant, it's queer. And it's so fucking right. Every time he sees Jou he has to restrain himself. Like right at this moment

Jou sits quietly watching Seto out of the corner of his eye. Seto sees him. Jou knows he sees him. They're playing that game. The game of "I know you can see me, but I'm going to keep pretending I don't know that". Jou is talking with Yuugi. Jealousy stirs in Seto's chest, as he watches Yuugi whisper into Jou's ear. Seto clenches his jaw tight. He closes his eyes again. 

He doesn't even know why he's here. 

"You're awful quiet." 

He doesn't even have to open his eyes to see who it is. He knows it's Jou. The voice is quiet, soft-spoken with a hint of curiosity. His heart races, but his calm demeanor hides it. "I guess so." he replies.

Upon hearing his soft sigh, Seto guesses that wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. He wondered if he was quiet enough Jou would leave. Leave him alone to just think about him. Seto desperately wanted to go home. Home was the best place for his fantasies of Jou and his throbbing erection. He cracks open an eyelid to see if anyone is watching. They're all talking to each other. They're all one little fucking compact group, with no room for abnormality … or him. Jou has left him and is in deep conversation with Honda. He wouldn't notice if he left, Seto realizes, getting up and heading for the door. 

The night air is cold. Colder than Seto had expected. He walks down the street, hands shoved down his pockets, trying to at least make some part of his body warm. His breath shows in little translucent clouds in front of him. The walk home wasn't long. It seems longer tonight, though. Images of Jou won't leave Seto's mind. He walks quicker, hoping that if he does, he will outrun them. 

Childish fantasies play in his head, without his acknowledgement or permission. They mock him. They show him everything he wants. They show him and Jou in bed, they show him and Jou holding each other, they show them in a heated make-out session. "Stop!" Seto yells, trying to block the images out of his head, running as fast as he can. He collapses onto his knees onto a lawn. He grabs his head and presses it into the grass, trying to make all thoughts of Jou leave him.

They don't leave. They plague him. They make him believe that it's real. He can feel the softness of Jou's skin on his fingertips, can feel the gentleness of Jou's lips on his. They blur reality, until Seto can't remember what is real. He doesn't remember if he imagined all of those moments, or if they really happened. His breathing is ragged now. He is collapses unto an unfamiliar lawn, trying to catch his breath, thinking of Jounouchi Katsuya. 

How pathetic does he look at this exact moment? 

He's a fool. In love. 

"What are you doing out here?" 

It's him again. Seto doesn't look up. Why did he follow him? Seto takes a deep breath and sits up, his hand to his forehead. He closes his eyes and takes on his tough façade again. "None of your business." he snaps. Jou takes a step back, like a puppy that had just been scolded. His puppy. Aggressive thoughts flood Seto's mind once more. He wanted to take him. Take him right there on the lawn. His puppy. He wanted to kiss him fiercely, the way he knew Jou had never been kissed. He settles for a gaze shrouded in confusion. Jou cautiously takes a step forward and stands there, shaking. Seto curses himself. He makes him afraid. This wasn't quite the desired effect. 

"Are you cold?" Jou asks. Seto hadn't even noticed the chill until Jou said something. Seto shivers and shakes his head. No words. There were no words necessary anymore. They were past words in Seto's mind. Words were no good. Actions were better.

Seto sits, willing himself to stand up and take Jou into his arms. Nothing happens. Seto doesn't move. Jou kneels down, too see Seto better. Seto looks away. Is he doing this on purpose? Jou's eyes search his own. He can't bring himself to look away. He looks into Jou's eyes, mesmerized. Suddenly he is uncomfortable. He wants to look away. His throat is dry. He licks his lips nervously. Jou must sense his anxiety, because he smiles. 

Was he mocking him? Seto was almost sure that he was mocking him. Seto frowns and looks away, tearing his gaze away from Jou's. 

"Seto-" He wants to say something. The sweet innocent verbalization of his name compels Seto to look at him. Seto turns and watches Jou out of the corner of his eye. Jou sees he has Seto's attention, but now he's quiet. He can't talk. He's not talking. 

Seto is annoyed. He places his hand on the ground, steadying himself and giving himself a nonchalant aura at the same time. He intimidates Jou a bit. He sees that as Jou looks away, embarrassed. Waves of guilt pour over Seto. He places his hand on Jou's. Jou snaps his head to look at Seto. Seto smiles, knowing he got the desired effect. The smile is not evil, as Seto intended it to be. Seto smiles like a child knowing he's getting a treat. A child in a candy store with ten bucks. It's greedy, excited. It makes Jou's heart race. 

Seto quickly takes advantage of Jou's surprise and kisses him fiercely on the mouth, making sure Jou knows in every way that Seto has control. Jou doesn't resist. He doesn't pull Seto off of him. He doesn't scream. Seto receives a throaty moan and Jou's complete collapse of will, as he lets Seto's tongue into his mouth. 

No dream could do this justice. Every wet dream Seto has ever had, has no comparison to the feeling of Jou's tongue grazing against his in a sloppy kiss. Seto tries hard to store this feeling into his mind so he can pull this out at any moment. The feeling of Jou's hand as it runs down his back overwhelms him. 

Jou breaks the kiss and breathes heavily. Air. Seto forgot about air. He realizes that he needed some too. Seto sits, out of breath and completely satisfied. Seto stares at Jou, thinking he'll get up and run, embarrassed of what they had just done. They sit in silence on the foreign lawn. They watch each other, daring the other to say something. Seto sits quietly, his breath recollected. Jou still sits, trying to catch his breath. 

"What was that?" Jou asks. The tone was not one of disgust. It was of interest. Seto doesn't answer. He doesn't have an answer. 

Jou crawls over to Seto and sits, his face inches apart from Seto's. "Is this right?" Jou asks. Seto looks at him questioningly. He doesn't quite know what he means. Jou laughs because he doesn't know what he's saying either. Seto has that effect on him. Jou doesn't what he's doing. He's thrown caution to the wind. Jou grabs Seto and kisses him. In one swift motion, Seto pulls Jou into his lap. Jou isn't protesting. Seto's hand runs over the bulge in Jou's pants. Jou breaks the kiss and whimpers. Seto takes him into his arms and presses his lips to Jou's. 

They don't know what they're doing. All they know is that this feels right. And if it feels right, why stop?

Seto brushes his thumbs over Jou's cheeks. Jou leans into his touch. This was perfect. They were expressing their love, shedding all civility and vigilance. They found exactly where they fit in society. They both found the missing piece in their lives. And they found it in each other. 

************************

There we go. 

You got some S/J slash for you. 

Reviews are always appreciated!


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